Good Year For The Outlaw

This morning, I was offered “court supervision” instead of having my recent traffic ticket show up on my MVR for my insurance agent to see. What is “court supervision”? It sounds serious. Do I have to come to class? Well, no. Do I have to call in and report my whereabouts? Nope. Do I have to complete some kind of test or where some kind of electronic ankle bracelet? Again, nope.

So what is it? Well, to be quite honest, it’s…extortion. Oh, you say you don’t think so? Well, let’s look at a couple of the listings under the definition of extortion:

Illegal use of one’s official position or powers to obtain property, funds, or patronage.

An excessive or exorbitant charge.

So let’s see…regarding definition #1: I didn’t see a judge, instead I met with a representative of the state’s or district’s attorney’s office, who ”made me an offer”. And regarding definition #2: For twice the amount of my ticket, I can get “court supervision” (with, as I said, no real “supervision”) to make sure the ticket doesn’t go on my insurance. I don’t know if it qualifies as “extortion” based on definition #1…although I could make the argument it’s pretty darn close as the “offer” was made by an attorney, and not the judge of the court…but it definitely qualifies under definition #2. Basically, if you’re willing to pay us a bunch more than what the ticket actually costs, you don’t have to pay more down the road. Hmmm…excessive and exorbitant? You betcha.

Naturally, I pleaded (NOT “pled”) not guilty, and I’ll be appearing before a judge (whom I did not see this morning anywhere near the courtroom, not during the “negotiating” process, I guess) next month.

More to come.

Oh, and I STILL don’t have my driver’s license…she wouldn’t give it to me today.

After not watching more than two laps of NAZICAR racing all year, I flipped away from NBA playoff action for a few minutes to see what indeed was up these days in the world of big league stock car racing, the once-great sport that has been ruined by a greedy, bigoted sanctioning body. Thought I’d “give ‘em a shot”, and see if there was any reason to go back to watching.

First, what was I hoping to see?  Well, for starters, I was hoping to see a) Toyota getting pummeled; b) Darrell Waltrip not allowed to speak on the broadcast; c) less religion; d) the ability to tell exactly what kind of car a driver was wheeling just by looking at it. Those things would be nice.

What did I actually see? Cars that are still identical except for decals (sucks), the ones with “toyota” on them doing well (sucks), and Darrell Waltrip not only talking about religion (as usual) but also excited about the fact that a car sponsored by Dr. Dobson and Focus on the Family (pure evil man and organization) was running well, and then I had to listen to Darrell tell us how he couldn’t wait to see Dr. Dobson at the upcoming National Day of Prayer.

Um, dudes, this is freakin’ sports, not a revival meeting. Nor is it supposed to be a commercial for christianity. But, sad to say, the reasons I left NAZICAR behind are still quite prevalent on the broadcasts. And I can only imagine what the rest of the day was like, I only watched about 30 (of 188) laps. Wow.

In the past few days, every time…EVERY time…I’ve turned on a sportstalk radio station, be it in Chicago, Peoria, the Quad Cities, or New York or Minneapolis via internet for that matter, the discussion is the same.

Are they talking Spring Training baseball, a very exciting time for all teams? Nope.

Are the talking about the stretch run in the NHL or NBA? Nope.

Maybe they’re talking about the soon-to-descend-upon-us college hoops March Madness? Um, no.

Oh, wait, I know! NAZICAR season just started with the big Daytona race. Gotta be it, right? No again.

What are talking about? Yep. The frickin’ NFL. I’ve heard Mel “What The Hell Do I Actually Do?” Kiper ranting on ESPN about potential 5th round draft choices at the all-important punter or tight end positions. I’ve heard other hosts rambling on about how Bubba Joe Bob Hickaburger can squat 450 a hundred times, or how Latonzalicious Jackson runs a 4.32 40-year dash without pads, but slows to 4.38 with pads. I’ve heard how Studly McOverrated QB is 6-4 and can see over lineman and can get the ball from his hand to a wideout on a 12 yard hitch pattern in 2.73 seconds, about .04 seconds faster than Sexy California Dudewacker, who’s also only 6-3 1/2, btw.

Interestingly, btw, you don’t hear about their college grades or their steroid test results…but I digress. Bottom line:

I…DON’T…CARE.

And nobody else does, either, except for 31-year old Geech Puckerbrush sitting, unshowered for days, in Mom’s basement gearing up for the next big season of Fantasy Football.  

Talk baseball. Talk hockey. Talk stock cars. Hell, talk bowling and golf. Just DROP FOOTBALL FOR A DAMN WEEK. Hell, the damn draft…another overrated and overhyped phenomenon, is still over a month away. Just shut up about football for one stinkin’ week. That’s all I ask. Sheesh.

Anyone with 1/2 of 1/3 of 1/10th of a brain has his doubts the honesty of Roger Clemens after hearing his wild, rambling, disjointed stories being told yesterday in the Congressional Hearings.

So how in hell did the hearings turn into partisan politics? Every GOP member of the committee rushed to Clemens’ defense - inexplicably - while the Democratic members hammered away at his obviously suspect stories and claims. Why? Is it because he’s from Texas, and for some reason, these people STILL don’t want to piss off Georgie boy? Is it because he was the rich one being questioned and the former trainer who’s story contradicts Clemens’ story is “an average middle class Joe”? What is it? Whatever it was, it made those GOP’ers yesterday appear to be morons.

An aside, we do have the video of Roger finally telling the truth:

CJ Summers feels the same way I do about some bogus emails making the rounds.

I got that very email from my aunt in Minnesota a few weeks back, and answered with some links disproving the email. Sadly, I got back not one, but TWO ridiculous responses from other recipients of the original email.

One said, “…it is SO true…were you there to see him swear in?” and the other said, “if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Whether it’s true or not is not the issue, it’s how many people we can make THINK it’s true.”   The first one was from an idiot. Plain and simple. But the second one was much more frightening. Honest enough to admit it was an intentional smear campaign. I had to check the address to see if the name “Rove” wasn’t somewhere in there.

Another U.S. soldier was convicted today of murdering an unarmed Iraqi. The most disturbing parts of the story to me were this:

Vela’s trial was the last of three snipers in the unit accused in a series of shooting deaths south of Baghdad that defense lawyers said happened under command pressure to increase kill counts and, perhaps, employ questionable tactics in doing so.

In September, Gary Myers, then an attorney for Vela, claimed that Army snipers in Iraq were under orders to “bait” their targets with suspicious materials, such as detonation cords, and then kill whoever picked up the items.

The Army has declined to confirm that any such program existed, saying it does not discuss tactics used in the field.

and this:

Sgt. Michael A. Hensley was acquitted of murder in all three deaths, but he was convicted of planting evidence by placing a rifle with al-Janabi’s body.

Hensley said the unit had been pressured by his commanders to wrack up kills. His unit had been in Iraq for only a few months and had taken up to 25 casualties without inflicting much damage on insurgents, he said.

“They were tired of people getting killed and us not getting any kills in return,” Hensley said. “There was definitely some pressure. If we came back from a mission and we didn’t get kills, we were talked to.”

But of course, the most disturbing part of the whole thing is how we shouldn’t freakin’ be there anyway.

Super Bowl Sunday. America’s “Big Game”. And it usually turns into a big fest for rednecks nationwide to go all “‘mur-a-kin” for their beloved (read: overrated) NFL.  Don’t get me wrong. I like football. Casually interested, is what I’d call me. But it’s NOT the best game. It’s among the easiest to understand (”them boys is gotta take that pigskin and get it over that there goal line to get points”), and it revels in good ol’ fashioned blood and violence, making it the choice of a large percentage of the population. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just overrated. Oh, and we love the blood and violence and macho showboating, but for Supreme Being’s sakes don’t you DARE partially expose a breast for 1/100th of a second. But that’s another story.

On this day, I get a big kick out of a bunch of guys getting their jersies (made in China) out of their Mexican-built dryers, hopping into their Canadian-built pickups, driving thanks to their Middle Eastern fuel, putting on the “made in Taiwan” Orange County Chopper $9 sunglasses, heading to WalMart (where everything except the food is also made in China), buying a couple of frozen pizzas (made in America, created in Italy) and some chips and salsa (Mexican heritage), heading home to plop down on their Hong Kong-built sofa, turn on the Japanese TV, and find the network created by the Australian.

All for a good ‘ol game of “‘mur-a-kin” football. The only thing American about the game is the actual game (again…overrated) and the beer (equally overrated), two things that combine to dumb down the country.

But the commercials are awesome.

Anyone who reads this knows what kind of drivers tick me off. But I just wonder aloud here…what possesses people to act like they do?

Case in point: I’m heading to Peoria Saturday afternoon, leaving Kewanee about 4:55pm. I get behind a large pickup with a topper and about a 1/2 ton of rusted metal at a stoplight. As the light turns green, it takes him forever to get to the 35 MPH speed limit. No big deal, I put up with this all the time. Frustrating, but what can you do? Nothing. As you’re leaving Kewanee to the south, the speed limit goes from 35 to 55 instantly, no 45 zone. Again, the trip from 35 to 50 takes about an hour and a half on this day. Still no biggie. I’m way back (I DO NOT follow too closely, I like to build up to pass from a proper distance). But he stops at 50. In a 55. I’d like to go 55. Or 63.  So I prepare to pass.

We hit the first eligible passing zone and I make my move. Suddenly, his truck is going much faster. I shake my head, fall back in line behind him and say to myself “here we go again…why do assholes do this?”  We climb a hill, suddenly we’re going 47 or 48.

Next passing zone, this one a much longer stretch.  I kick it down, and easily have the power to get past him, even as he is - again - trying to keep me from passing by accelerating. As I go by him, I glance up to see an extended and pudgy little middle finger. Typical. Why the hell do people do this? What possesses people to be such jerks?  It’s sickening.

BTW, unlike some other jag bags who then tailgate you as if you’re at Daytona after you pass them, this guy settled back into his 48 MPH drone as I watched more cars stack up behind him, while I was alone - safer - by being ahead of this dude. I wonder how many other people he fingered? I wonder why he does it? I wonder when someone is going to pull him over, pull him out of his rust bucket, and break the pudgy little middle finger in 22 pieces?

The winner of the 2008 “Captain Obvious” award has already been determined…three weeks into the year. Congrats to the champion, this report:

False Statements Preceded War 

The first two paragraphs of the AP story: 

WASHINGTON - A study by two nonprofit journalism organizations found that President Bush and top administration officials issued hundreds of false statements about the national security threat from Iraq in the two years following the 2001 terrorist attacks.

The study concluded that the statements “were part of an orchestrated campaign that effectively galvanized public opinion and, in the process, led the nation to war under decidedly false pretenses.”

First of all, I could have saved them a bunch of time if they’d just called me. But be that as it may…

It appears these “hundreds of false statements…” ultimately “…led the nation to war under decidedly false pretenses…” It would follow, then, that these “false statements” could also be called hundreds of  ”lies”, no? Oh, and those hundreds of lies subsequently killed 4,000 of our finest citizens.  Now, tell me again, from what I understand this is not an impeachable offense but lying about an office hummer is? Okay. Whatever.

Seems some South Carolina Republicans received Christmas cards from Mitt Romney (for those who have been in a cave this past year, Mr. Romney is the Mormon candidate for President), saying they came from “The Boston Massachusetts Temple” and quoting some controversial passages from the Book of Mormon.     

Why would someone do this? To get the evangelical christians in their corner, of course. WHO would do something like this? If this doesn’t smell like the work of one Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove, then you haven’t been paying attention for the last 10 years.

I think it’s simply a matter of time until we find out which campaign has hired Rove to twist the race and pull the dirtiest shit you can think of. My guess is it’s the Guiliani folks. But that’s just a guess. The ONLY one I’d rule out is McCain’s camp. They’re the ones who suffered most at the hands of the evil Rove in 2000, no way they’d hire him this time. However, stranger things have happened.

The hope here is that whomever did it is a) found and b) convicted to the full extent of the law for mail fraud. And it is mail fraud.

Gov. Bill Richardson dropped out of the race for President today. His candidacy was a longshot at best, although I never quite understood why. How can a former cabinet member, a current governor, a popular, smart, thoughtful, moderate man be a “longshot”? It certainly was not because he wasn’t among the most qualified for the position. Instead, it was because he was NOT among the most-funded, and NOT among the most-annointed front runners by the media.

On the Democratic side, all we’ve heard is “Hillary vs. Barack” for about the last year. Not that they aren’t qualified candidates, but they ARE NOT the “only” candidates. That John Edwards is doing as well as he is to this point is a credit to his campaign, a credit to him, and a credit to his supporters. But, truth be told, it is also somewhat of a red flag to me. It shows me that - as the best funded “white guy” - Edwards still has a chance in part because there are too many voters…FAR too many voters…who won’t vote for a female or an African American, even one who has one white parent (nor will they apparently vote, in Richardson’s case, for an Hispanic).  This, of course, makes bigots like Vonster cheer heartily, but I find it sad that we still have so far to go in this country. Sad.

It also makes me worry that, with the South still not heard from (and we know how THEY feel about that “uppity woman” and that “uppity black”), the GOP has a chance to win another election they do not deserve to win. Maybe I’m just depressed because my guy (still the best candidate for the job) is now out of it, but I don’t see anything yet that shows me that the electorate, which is still littered with ignorant, bigoted idiots, can rise above itself and elect an obviously qualified individual (Clinton, Obama, to name two) who doesn’t happen to fit their “white, middle aged, protestant” description of what they think a president should be.

It isn’t just Democrat candidates that suffer from that unfortunate and sickenly wrong ideal…ask Mitt Romney about it.

This moron is part of a website about rat hunting. I kid you not. Rat hunting. Now someone is going to try and tell me that it’s necessary to have this kind of gun. What-the-frick-ever.

Hilarious headlines abound on Fixed/Faux News.com this morning. Among my favorites:

• “Women, Gay Men Are Worst Drivers”
• “Image of Jesus Appears In Potato”
• “Lesbian Lock Up”
• “Taser Parties Are The New Craze”

and, of course, under the banner “Breaking News“: “Britney Spears Released From Hospital”

When your political agenda sucks, I guess these are the headlines that best distract the public from the truth.

UPDATE: While ABC aired a GOP Presidential Debate live last night (Saturday Jan 5), while CNN was doing a story about the terrible housing market, while MSNBC was giving analysis on both the Dem and Repub presidential races, Faux was doing a 15-minute expose on Britney Spears’ finances and her current troubles.

Amazing.

I spent a bunch of time cleaning my keyboard this morning after spitting up while reading the Letter To the Editor in the PJStar from a Sharon Robinson. 

Oh…my…supreme being.

Was that woman serious? Actually, considering it was written by a Peorian, she probably was. Sadly, Peoria has more than it’s share of these kinds of close-minded, awful people. A couple of them even have blogs.

The comments section on the website below the letter shows there is indeed hope, however, for Peoria, as some very sane people have picked apart this letter.

I’d like to pick apart a small bit no one has touched on yet:

A wall should be built on all borders, with a warning sign in Spanish and Arabic: “No Trespassing.”

Yeah, as long as you speak those languages, stay the hell out, right Sharon? But every other language? You’re okay. Sheesh.

C’mon, right-wing Peorians, denounce this crap of Ms. Robinson’s. Mouse, you should be particularly disgusted by this woman’s bigotry and racism (notice her “whites are leaving” comment in the original letter). Let’s see if the right side of the Peoria blogosphere can properly call this woman what she is: an idiot.

Good. State Police officers are going to be running a DUI Crackdown over the holidays, as they usually do. I’m glad. Of course, I wish they would crack down diligently like this ALL the time, and not just around the Holidays, but they only get so much Federal grant money to help them pay for the extra man-hours. But whatever they can do, I’m all or it. I particularly like this part of the story:

“According to the Illinois Department of Transportation, eight of the 10 motor vehicle crash fatalities over the last Christmas holiday weekend were alcohol related. Six of the 13 fatalities over the New Year’s weekend were alcohol related.”

Let’s see, that’s 16 of the 23 fatalities involving alcohol. A vast majority. Much higher than the “fatalities involving speeding by sober people” totals, for certain. My point? As always, I’m just lookin’ for an admission from Law Enforcement: Speed traps are revenue builders. Not safety concerns. But revenue builders.

(more…)

I’m still amazed at this one.

How about 40 days of officials and legislators and law enforcement people getting together to figure out better gun laws?

How about 40 days of raiding the homes and vehicles of known criminals and convicted felons and getting the drugs and guns and everything else they shouldn’t have?

How about 40 days of non-stop communication between whites and blacks in Peoria on how to better understand and get along with each other, instead of hating each other?

I could think of so many other things that could be done over 40 days that would be more effective than “40 days of prayer”. But that wouldn’t get me reelected, now, would it?

While checking some websites originating from my home state of Minnesota last night, I read several stories about the big blizzard that blew through the state. Of course, in the comments section of each newpaper story I read, the nutcases were out in force, just like they are everytime it gets cold.

I read the smarmy little “now what was that about Global Warming again?” and the inane “as I look out at my snow-covered car, I chuckle at the thought of ‘Global Warming’. Aren’t we supposed to be enjoying record high temperatures?”

People like these show their ignorance on so many levels it’s both laughable and tragic. First of all, it’s not “global warming”, it’s “climate change”, and anyone who knows anything about what’s been said would know that the warming of the oceans could cause drastic changes in the climates over land masses, both hot AND cold. Notice, I said “could”, not “will”, as I’m in the camp that says the science is probably right, but hopefully we can fix it.

Secondly, it’s December 1st in Minnesota, it’s SUPPOSED to snow. Morons.

We had this discussion over lunch the other day, and even my Republican friends say that if it was the GOP promoting climate change, and the Dems were the ones paying flat-earth “scientists” to say “it’s not true…don’t believe it!”, then those who are the loudest AGAINST the theory of climate change would be the loudest FOR it. C’mon, 20 percenters, even your beloved King George has admitted climate change is not only real, but that humans are contributing to it.

Wow. Surfing around in the interest of self-education tonight and I find this heartwarming story. (sarcasm)

So 57% of all guns manufactured world wide every year end up in the U.S. Gun owners are soooo abused here, aren’t they? Um, people, I think we have enough.

Lots of people think we have “enough” things, like teachers, funding for education, health care for children, gun laws, and funding for seniors.

Those same folks, along with still others, think we have enough sports venues, and parks, laws, and greenspace.

Those folks also, for the most part, think we not only have enough, but too MUCH of things, such as liberals, abortions, athletes making big money, hunting regulations, government, and taxes.

Ironically, many (most) of those same people who feel that way, however, don’t have a problem with their freedoms being taken away by the very people they elected to office.

Those people also feel, however incomprehensible that it may seem, that we DON’T have ENOUGH gun rights.  Huh? I think this story I’ve linked to suggests otherwise.

Police find arsenal in kid’s house before he gets to kill.

Oh, here’s the most disgusting part:

The weapons included a 9 mm assault rifle that the teenager’s mother had recently bought for him, Montgomery County District Attorney Bruce L. Castor Jr. said. Prosecutors are reviewing her actions.

Then, of course, there’s this part:

Also discovered were seven explosive devices Castor described as homemade grenades: plastic containers filled with BBs to which gunpowder could be added. Authorities said one grenade was operable and the others had been in the process of being assembled.

And this:

“I do not think an attack was imminent and I am not certain that an attack was going to occur at all,” Castor said at a news conference. “It could have simply been big talking by a kid who thought that he was bullied previously and he was going to exact his revenge.”

The teen previously attended middle school in the district but had been taught at home for more than a year after voluntarily leaving school, Castor said.

So…no attack was imminent? How’s the view from your arsehole, Mr. Castor?

The kid was caught after a tip from a high school student and that student’s father. The “no attack was imminent” weapons’ horder was being home schooled after voluntarily pulling out of school.

But let’s get back to the sick part: Mom bought the gun. My questions: How easy do you suppose it was for her to do this? Show a drivers’ license? Smile flirtaciously at the sales clerk? Tell him, “oh, don’t worry about me, it’s a gift for my 14-year old home-schooled son who voluntarily left school last year”?

Tell me again how we already have too many laws and it’s this sick twisted woman’s right to do this.

UPDATED: Mom had purchased two more guns, which were stored at a friend’s house. She is not an early leader in the Mom of the Year race.

Students tried to warn staff at the Cleveland alternative High School that was the scene of yet another scary shooting incident.

“Armed with two revolvers”, the story says, as well as “had a history of mental problems” and “he was talking about doing it last week”. Oh, and don’t forget, “He seemed like an angry young man” and “students believe the attack could have been prevented”.

Another sad, sad case. The ONLY saving grace and “good side” of this story is the fact that as of yet, no one (save for the shooter) lost his or her life in this incident. But the attacks in the comments will be aimed at me for being “liberal”, not for the real problem.

Another white guy, another legally obtained gun (he was a police officer!), another six senseless deaths. When you count the gunman, the total rises to 7.

Wisconsin horror.

When is it going to stop? When are we, as a society, going to open our eyes and grow up? Amazing. Sickening. But “don’t take away my gun”, right? Whatever.

On InsightBB’s homepage today, there is this story: 

Inspectors Find Overcharging At Pharmacies
Sep 23, 2007

The Chicago Department of Consumer Services has discovered an epidemic of overcharging at some of the city’s pharmacies. Department investigators recently posed as customers at more than 180 CVS, Walgreen’s and Osco stores. They found that 71 of the pharmacies overcharged for all kinds of products, including blood glucose monitors, cough syrup and razors. One investigator was charged nearly 80 dollars for a glucose monitor that was listed at about ten dollars.

Color me not surprised. But it’s not just drugs they overcharge for. Just the other day, I stopped at a CVS. I walked down a few aisles, seeing if there was anything I could pick up. I saw a six-pack of Propel Fitness Water. Diane and I have been drinking a lot of this, and we usually pay $2.97 for a six pack at the local Evil Mart. I’d rather buy my groceries and beverages at other places than Evil Mart, but when the CVS price is $5.29 for the same six pack, and you’re on a limited budget, you’re almost FORCED to shop at Evil Mart, or you don’t eat.

I asked a CVS employee to justify the disparity, and he said “they must be taking a loss on it, because we can’t buy the stuff that cheap.” Well, then use your head. STOP ordering from whatever grocery wholesaler is ripping you off unless they drop the price to a more competitive level, or find another wholesaler who will. If those things don’t work, you go down to Evil Mart and buy your week’s supply for your shelves from Evil Mart. You buy it for $2.97 and sell it for $3.39, and you make a profit off of those who just don’t want to go to Evil Mart. Heck, if it was that close, I’D be shopping at CVS more.  But sadly, it’s not.

Now, on the other hand, if you’re NOT paying over $2.97 per six pack, YOU are the ones ripping people off at $5.29 and you don’t deserve the business anyway.

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I hope it was the latter.

I spit Dr. Pepper when I read this in the PJS today. If it’s a serious letter, I feel very bad for the writer, I really do.

I also got a kick out of this comment among those following the letter:

Don’t let these left leaning America haters get you down. Continue on with your support of America and all that it stands for.

Saw this AP story tonight. Cringed.

The first paragraph:

 BAGHDAD - Iraqi investigators have a videotape that shows Blackwater USA guards opened fire against civilians without provocation in a shooting last week that left 11 people dead, a senior Iraqi official said Saturday. He said the case was referred to the Iraqi judiciary.

Those who follow the Braves and keep tabs on the nickname controversy with the NCAA might want to read this story from the Minneapolis Star Tribune, to see how other schools are doing in their fight.

For the record, my feeling is this: There’s only one truly offensive name left in sports, and it’s right under the noses of our nation’s legislators. Until something is done about the name “Redskins” and someone stands up to the bully NFL, the NCAA should leave EVERY school alone regarding this matter. Also for the record, I have no problem with “Warriors”, “Braves”, “Chiefs”, “Sioux”, “Illini”, “Seminole”, and every other team nickname which harkens to a tribe or their bravest warriors. Those who knuckled under since this became an issue 20 or so years ago should be ashamed. There really wasn’t a need to, unless your nickname was “Redskins”. Now, those who used offensive mascots or awful caricatures and changed them…I’m fine with that…but there’s nothing wrong with honoring a people with a name like “Brave” or “Warrior”.