Super Bowl Sunday. America’s “Big Game”. And it usually turns into a big fest for rednecks nationwide to go all “‘mur-a-kin” for their beloved (read: overrated) NFL. Don’t get me wrong. I like football. Casually interested, is what I’d call me. But it’s NOT the best game. It’s among the easiest to understand (”them boys is gotta take that pigskin and get it over that there goal line to get points”), and it revels in good ol’ fashioned blood and violence, making it the choice of a large percentage of the population. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just overrated. Oh, and we love the blood and violence and macho showboating, but for Supreme Being’s sakes don’t you DARE partially expose a breast for 1/100th of a second. But that’s another story.
On this day, I get a big kick out of a bunch of guys getting their jersies (made in China) out of their Mexican-built dryers, hopping into their Canadian-built pickups, driving thanks to their Middle Eastern fuel, putting on the “made in Taiwan” Orange County Chopper $9 sunglasses, heading to WalMart (where everything except the food is also made in China), buying a couple of frozen pizzas (made in America, created in Italy) and some chips and salsa (Mexican heritage), heading home to plop down on their Hong Kong-built sofa, turn on the Japanese TV, and find the network created by the Australian.
All for a good ‘ol game of “‘mur-a-kin” football. The only thing American about the game is the actual game (again…overrated) and the beer (equally overrated), two things that combine to dumb down the country.
But the commercials are awesome.
Whippin’ through the TV dial on a Saturday, and I stumble across “Redneck Weddings” on CMT. This show is like the proverbial trainwreck: you don’t want to watch but once you start you can’t take your eyes off it.
The groom, after mattress surfing behind a four-wheel ATV, and the wife, after mud wrestling in her wedding dress (no, I’m not kidding) get together at the end of the night for a little smoochy smooch, and he utters this gem:
“Let’s go home and constipate this marriage.”
Awesome. Oh, btw, they were from Florida. No shock there.
This moron is part of a website about rat hunting. I kid you not. Rat hunting. Now someone is going to try and tell me that it’s necessary to have this kind of gun. What-the-frick-ever.
I laugh uproariously at the SunSetter RV Awning commercials. And last night I noticed a slight change in the voice over script, and laughed even harder.
They used to make it a point…several times in the script…that “our awnings are assembled right here in America with American parts.” Notice…not ALL American parts, but a few. Maybe a bolt. Possibly a plastic tie strap.
Now, the new ad says “assembled in America”, but has dropped the “parts” line. You mean now the bolts are coming from China, too? Cracks me up.
I love how some companies (Wally World, are you paying attention?) play up the “good ol’ red white and blue” angle whenever they can, and don’t have a lick of American-made stuff in their inventory.
It’s like these stupid ribbons on vehicles, and businesses that feel they have to put “we support the troops” on their little marquis signs. I support most of the troops, but I don’t need a ribbon to prove it. If a store puts that silly little sign out front, are they insinuating that if their competitor DOESN’T have that sign up, that they DON’T support the troops?
I have no problem with patriotism, it’s the jingoism that makes me want to puke.
And they found this dude innocent.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-04-23-dungeon-assault_N.htm
There are SO many things wrong in this story. Not wrong in the reporting, wrong in how this redneck creep goes about living his life, and about how South Carolina is now clearly ahead of Kansas in the race for the most backwards, backwoods, redneck state in the country.
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