A Good Year for the Outlaw

I heard a promo on the Chicago sports station the other night for a NAZICAR race on ESPN this weekend.
The promo said something to the effect of “see the Rainbow Warrior battle it out side-by-side with Junebug…”
I didn’t know if I was hearing a promo for a stock car race or a gay pride [...]

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NOTE: please insert rimshots in your mind where you see this: (!)
- I’ve been reading a lot lately. Clive Cussler and John Grisham novels are my favorites, plus I read a lot of automotive stuff. I’ve turned more pages lately than Congressman Mark Foley. (!)
- A co-manager in our company gave me a great gift [...]

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…I’ve stumbled on another one.
While dining at the Sirloin Stockade in Canton Friday with my main salesman Bill, we noticed a marquee across the street at the KFC that simply said “Wednesday: Gizzard Liver”.
That’s all it said. We stared at it for a bit and Bill said, “sounds like a band is playing at [...]

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Cranking up some Boston on the way home from work today, and I’m about 15th in line on Route 78 behind a guy who decides 42 MPH is as fast as he can go on the now-perfectly-dry-and-free-of-snow-and-ice-roads. Just when I say to myself, “I hope I’ll never be THAT guy”, Boston starts to rip into [...]

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Upon arriving home from the obligatory Saturday night Chick Flick (I’m kidding, it was good, Gere and Lane are always good together), I got online to see what’s happened in the world this evening.

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Not the five dumbest, necessarily, and not in any particular order, but here are five things we do in this country that just don’t seem to make a lot of sense:
1. Put so-called “Deadbeat Dads” in jail. – Perfect. That’ll help ‘em support their kids. Lock them up so they CAN’T work and make payments. [...]

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Friday morning, for no apparent reason, we were no longer able to get online to browse. We could get email, mind you, and log on to gaming websites through our previously installed software, just not able to browse the web.
We were too busy to worry about it until Saturday night, but since then I have [...]

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Dick Cheney (or, in actuality, a guy doing a fairly bad impression of The Dickster) called the Scott and Gin radio show Friday morning and delivered the “Optimistic Weather Forecast” for Peoria and Central Illinois. It went something like this:
“We’re in the final throes, if you will, of winter. I predict no more snow will [...]

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I resolve to post something on this blog every single day.
There. No “weight loss”, no “stop swearing”, no “resolve to kick the crap out of (insert name here)”, just a simple resolution. Let’s see how long it lasts.

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Earlier this week one of my alter-egos had this description of road conditions, more of a “recap”, really, from the last week, during a phone call to the Scott and Gin show.
First, the freezing rain starts to fall. It’s at this time the roads get slippier than Britney Spears’ sanity. Then, they start to ice [...]

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An upscale grocery market in New York committed a faux pas last week, advertising a special on ham for Hanukkah. Whoops. It got me to thinking about what other specials they may offer in this obviously insensitive grocery store:

“Name brand beers for 1/2 price when you show your grade school or junior high I.D.!”
“Bring in a doctor’s note [...]

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Scenario: I’m sitting at the computer, TV over my left shoulder is tuned into ESPN, Chris Berman and the boys are talking football. Diane is over by the vanity, preparing for the day.
I’m not paying attention, but apparently the announcers said something about Green Bay and a certain offensive position, bringing this retort from Diane:
“I [...]

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Denver Broncos punter/kicker Todd Sauerbrun didn’t have a good day yesterday. He kicked the football directly to Devin Hester not once, but twice (in the same quarter!). Then, when he finally figured out that wasn’t a good idea, he decided to punt right into the outstretched hands of Charles Tillman, resulting in an easy (even [...]

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Sometimes, real life and a job get in the way of putting your thoughts down in a blog. Sometimes, your thoughts CAN’T be put down in a blog because the truth might hurt some people. And sometimes, even when you know you’re right, it’s best not to put those facts in print on a blog [...]

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Making fun of bad punctuation has always been a pastime of mine, and apparently this blog’s owner as well.

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Check out this dude:
 
No, not the guy, the fish! A 29-pound Asian Carp. Caught in Illinois? Nope. Try Minnesota.
Minnesota hasn’t seen (fortunately) many of these beasts, this one was caught in a wide area of the Mississippi called Lake Pepin, near Lake City, about 40 miles from where I grew up. At Lake Pepin, the Mississippi [...]

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He cannot be serious. Can he?
http://www.nothingtoxic.com/uploads/b938775aad8d7cf0216496c1d267c905.wmv

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I used to work for Kevin Krause, when he was the owner of the Cedar Rapids Silver Bullets CBA basketball team (yes, it was a reference to Coors, they were a big sponsor). Krause’s family owned the “Kum and Go” franchises of convenience stores in Iowa, and as you might expect, the stores were the [...]

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A Knight In Dragonland has been having some fun.
I thought I’d give it a shot:

That’s me, and here’s the beautiful and talented Diane:

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