A Good Year for the Outlaw

NOTE: please insert rimshots in your mind where you see this: (!)

- I’ve been reading a lot lately. Clive Cussler and John Grisham novels are my favorites, plus I read a lot of automotive stuff. I’ve turned more pages lately than Congressman Mark Foley. (!)

- A co-manager in our company gave me a great gift recently, a Minnesota Twins hat signed by my all-time favorite ballplayer – Tony Oliva. If you never saw this man play, you missed a great one. Strong arm, great power, great speed before injuries took their toll. I remember his batting stance: left foot in the far, deepest corner of the batter’s box, right foot waaaaay out in front of the plate. His stance was wider than Larry Craig’s. (!)

- I helped a buddy a couple of weeks back. He had some old utility poles on his property and we rolled ‘em to the other side so he could load them up and take them away. I pushed more poles than Karl Rove. (!)

- I was playing poker with Cleveland’s baseball team a few years back in a hotel lobby in Minneapolis. Carlos Baerga, Albert Belle, the mid-90’s bunch. I won big. I fleeced more Indians than Jack Abramoff. (!)

- I’m trying this diet where you drink at least 8 big glasses of water a day, and I’m about sick of making trips to the bathroom. Holy key-rist, I’m leaking more than Richard Armitage. (!)

Man, there sure were a lot of scandals and wrongdoings in the Bush years. Makes Clinton and his crew look like choirboys. When all is said and done, history is going to treat the Bush Administration like Dick Cheney treated Harry Whittington’s face. (!)(!)(!)