So I’m traveling East on 74 Wednesday afternoon, heading to Bloomington for a hockey game, when I look in my mirror and see a battered red pickup (damaged grill, dented bumper) roaring up behind me. The dude gets so close behind me that two of his nose cilia brush against my coccyx. Needless to say, he’s tailgating at 71 MPH, and I have nowhere to go, as the right lane is full.
Finally, I’m able to move, and he flies by. The name of a significantly large highway construction company adorns the door of this battered red Chevy, and as he goes by, I see an improperly balanced right rear tire hopping up and down…that’s GOT to be annoying when you’re driving…and then a battered tailgate, folded into a “V” at the center. Toolboxes, battered, are attached to the side of the bed, and a water cooler is taped to a pole protruding up from the left rear corner of the box, wiggling in the wind (and from the bouncing tire). Then, I notice, ever so subtly, stuck to the rear of the toolbox on the right side, a sticker that says:
“Save our lives, Drive 45!”
Um, dude, kinda defeating the purpose of that sticker with your own tailgating actions, no? I have no problem complying with that request in a construction zone, but c’mon, you gotta meet us in the middle here. Seems to me from your driving “skill” and the mechanical shape of your truck, you’ve got a lot more to worry about than whether me and my fellow travelers slow down to 45 in your work zones.
5 responses so far ↓
1
Billy Dennis
// Mar 27, 2009 at 10:35 am
Dude. I take a two land highway to work, to better avoid all the city traffic lights. I an constantly amazed that people will tailgate in such a way.
2
lloyd
// May 18, 2009 at 11:56 pm
you must be used to having some dudes nose cilia brushing against your coccyx…so why do they call you BJ ? what the hell were you doing in the PASSING lane if the right lane was full? just stay in the right lane unless you intend to PASS!!! lollygaggin along on your way to game when you found yourself in the way of someone that has a JOB,, and then you complain!!! oh I forgot , it’s all about you.
3
bjstone
// May 19, 2009 at 11:36 am
Reading comprehension problem, there “lloyd”? I WAS passing. I was going 71 in the LEFT LANE. If you call 71 “lollygaggin’”, then you’re worse than I am when it comes to speeding. Oh, and I was on my way to a game, hence the END of the day…this dude was goin’ home, not to work. But it’s all about you, I forgot, right “lloyd”?
4
bjstone
// May 19, 2009 at 11:37 am
BTW, the “B” is my first name (Brett) and the “J” is for my son (Justin). But you go ahead and make up an eighth-grade level joke, alrighty?
5
bjstone
// May 19, 2009 at 11:41 am
BTW 2, I have a great job, “lloyd”, and I have part time gigs as an announcer for sports teams. So kiss my ass on the reference to this dude having a JOB, insinuating that I didn’t.
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