Rigged.

Well, another NBA “Lottery” has come and gone, and yet another fixed result has been achieved. Don’t think it’s fixed? Then why won’t they pull the ping pong balls in public?

It’s fixed. Big time. Congrats, Chicago, your pathetic Bulls again get something they don’t deserve.

BTW, the Minnesota Timberwolves remain the franchise the league loves to screw. Twelve times the T’wolves have been in the lottery in their 20 year existence. Why? Well, how about this little fact: In 12 lotteries, the Wolves have moved DOWN in the order from where they should pick seven times. In each of the other five times, they stayed where they should pick, based on win-loss record. Twelve total times and you haven’t gotten lucky ONCE?

“Nah, it’s not fixed,” says David Stern. Um, David, yes, it is, and this year anyone outside of Chicago knows it, and most IN Chicago know better, too.

This rigged lottery crap has been going on since the first one, even when they drew out in the open. See for yourself.

Road Kill Roundup

I saw a letter to the Journal Star bemoaning all of the road kill being allowed to rot on the sides of our Illinois highways last week. I agree, btw, it is sad to see that we have to do this. With the price of gas, the powers that be are making the pickup crews stay in the office more, apparently, and making the rounds less. Of course, in typical Peoria-area fashion, the letter and the following comments all had to take shots at Illinois and it’s governor for this. No one blames the real culprit, but why would they? It wouldn’t be very “Peorian” to lay blame in the proper location.

Be that as it may, however, I was satisfied (can’t say “delighted”, it’s never a “delight” when an animal dies such a horrific death as being squashed by a semi tractor) to see that Illinois is not alone. There were three times as many dead deer, opossum, and raccoons dead along Iowa highways yesterday. I traveled 20 miles north of Waterloo for my son’s graduation, and was amazed at how many deer lay dead, and in various states of decay, along the roadsides.

Wonder if there’s any Peoria right wingers who’d like to blame Blago for IOWA’s problem with roadkill, too?

Look, I don’t care what you think of the governor of Illinois, obviously, he’s not the best guy to come down the pike (still, not any worse than the joker he followed), but for Pete’s sakes, people, can’t you see why the crews aren’t on the road? Gas is freakin’ four dollars a gallon! And that is NOT the fault of the governor of Illinois, or the state legislature, for that matter. Put the blame where it belongs.

You want animal carcasses picked up? Call Dick Cheney, he’s probably got plenty of spare time between counting oil dividends.

Oh, one more thing: If they WERE out picking up every dead animal every day, I’m sure some right-wingnut around Peoria would right a letter and blame Blago for WASTING gas.

I Want To Be Served In The Order I Arrived…Is That Too Much To Ask? Apparently, It Is

I have sworn off going inside fast food restaurants. I’m trying to swear them off altogether, but that’s another story for another time. Today’s story is about service.

It’s bad enough when they can’t get your order right…and it matters not where you go: Golden Arches, some guy with a crown, a freckled girl with pigtails, or the ice cream place masquerading as a hamburger joint…any of them. But, I’d settle for the occasional mistake on my order anymore just to get served in the order I arrived.

As I said, I don’t go inside. I always get ticked. It doesn’t matter what line I get in,  some dude who blows in five minutes after me gets to order first, because I’ve gotten stuck behind either the “I’m ordering for the whole soccer team” mom, or the “I’ve never been here before” geek, or the “don’t rush me, I’ll order when I’m good and ready, and I’ll pay when I finally get my wallet out of my purse after 12 minutes” blue hair. So I won’t go inside.

Instead, I go for the speedy “drive thru” service. That way, I know I’ll not get screwed in line, because I’ll get served in the order I pulled into line, and I’m happy with that. Um, not so fast. A few years ago, I heard for the first time,  “can you pull ahead and we’ll bring it right out to you?” because, heaven forbid, I’ve ordered chicken nuggets, which take a little longer to cook. Never mind that they should be ready, but now I’ve got to pull ahead and wait while the dude who got here after me gets served? No way. I tell ‘em no. I tell them, “sorry, but I’d rather not. I’ll wait for my food and get it in order, thank you.”  You should see the look on their faces.

So, I’ve got that problem nailed. Ahh, now we can just sit back and know we’ll get served in the order….ARRRGHHH! Along comes McDonald’s with the sickening new “double drive thru” lanes. Sh*t! And it never fails, EVERY time I get to the speaker, the guy behind me gets to the OTHER speaker, gets to order BEFORE me even though he’s arrived AFTER me, and then sticks the nose of his car in the back seat of the car in front of us so I can’t get in.

Pisses…me…off.

So, McDonald’s: See ya.

One down.

“Lead Foot” B.S.

Let me first state I think Phil Luciano is a great columnist, and I am always entertained by his writing style, and “get it” when it comes to Phil’s sense of humor. He’s damn good at what he does in the paper.  But I take, shall we say, significant umbrage at yesterday’s baloney-filled column about speeding v. fuel economy.

Phil bought too far into the claims of his unnamed veteran cop “source” for this story.

This officer claims he’s surprised…I’m sorry, he said “flabbergasted”…that people are “still driving like maniacs” with fuel nearing $4.00 per gallon.

Excuse me, buddy, but I do NOT “drive like a maniac”, and just because one speeds he/she is not a “maniac”. So let’s cut the hyperbole here. To me, the “maniacs” are the a-holes who run stop signs, don’t use signals, change lanes without warning, accelerate through left-turn lane yellow- and red-lights, and follow other cars too damn close. THOSE are the “maniacs”, and those people don’t have to “speed” to be an idiot.

Beyond that, though, let’s examine the claims in the story and the math around them:

According to AAA Motor Club, Phil says, decreasing speed from 75 to 65 MPH increases fuel economy by 10%, and decreasing speed from 70 to 55 MPH increases fuel economy by 17%. First, simple math tells us that even if these claims are true (they’re not), they don’t make a lot of sense. A decrease from 75 to 65 MPH is a decrease of 14% (and an increase in time needed to arrive at the destination by that same 14%). Ever heard the phrase “time is money”? Well, in sales, it’s true. So to effectively increase my mileage by 10%, I’ve got to slow down 14% and waste more time driving. Not a good deal.

And the other example given is just as bad…to get a 17% claimed (again, not true) increase in mileage, I’ve got to slow down by 22%! In other words, my 100-minute drives back and forth to Canton everyday become 122 minutes, and I spend another one hour and forty minutes in just one week (that’s a LOT of time I could be working at my desk or making sales calls) driving my car back and forth, only to see my mileage (supposedly) increase.

But alas, it doesn’t work that way in all vehicles. Hell, it doesn’t work that way in any vehicles that I know of. Cars, like golf clubs, baseball bats, and numerous other man-made items, have a “sweet spot”. Each one is different. Some vehicles (mine, for instance) achieve peak gas mileage at higher speeds, because of the gearing and how it matches to the “sweet spot” for engine RPM.

After reading it yesterday, I did a little test this morning. I topped off my tank and headed up to I-80, where I zeroed out my trip computer and set the cruise at 70. My drive from Annawan to Ottawa netted 24.8 MPG according to GM’s uncannily accurate dashboard trip-computer that I’m happy my Grand Prix came with. On the way back, I topped off, zeroed out the CPU and set the cruise at 55. Yes, on I-80. No rush to get back. Same trip, same miles. According to Phil and the AAA Motor Club, I should have seen my mileage increase to 27.3 MPG. Um, no. Try 24.2 MPG. Yep, my car gets worse mileage at 55 than it does at 70 in the same conditions. (Okay, it was four degrees warmer, for you engineer types).

(more…)

“Court Supervision”…Let’s Just Call It What It Is

This morning, I was offered “court supervision” instead of having my recent traffic ticket show up on my MVR for my insurance agent to see. What is “court supervision”? It sounds serious. Do I have to come to class? Well, no. Do I have to call in and report my whereabouts? Nope. Do I have to complete some kind of test or where some kind of electronic ankle bracelet? Again, nope.

So what is it? Well, to be quite honest, it’s…extortion. Oh, you say you don’t think so? Well, let’s look at a couple of the listings under the definition of extortion:

Illegal use of one’s official position or powers to obtain property, funds, or patronage.

An excessive or exorbitant charge.

So let’s see…regarding definition #1: I didn’t see a judge, instead I met with a representative of the state’s or district’s attorney’s office, who ”made me an offer”. And regarding definition #2: For twice the amount of my ticket, I can get “court supervision” (with, as I said, no real “supervision”) to make sure the ticket doesn’t go on my insurance. I don’t know if it qualifies as “extortion” based on definition #1…although I could make the argument it’s pretty darn close as the “offer” was made by an attorney, and not the judge of the court…but it definitely qualifies under definition #2. Basically, if you’re willing to pay us a bunch more than what the ticket actually costs, you don’t have to pay more down the road. Hmmm…excessive and exorbitant? You betcha.

Naturally, I pleaded (NOT “pled”) not guilty, and I’ll be appearing before a judge (whom I did not see this morning anywhere near the courtroom, not during the “negotiating” process, I guess) next month.

More to come.

Oh, and I STILL don’t have my driver’s license…she wouldn’t give it to me today.

A Theory In The Works

I remember a time a decade or two ago where “convenience stores” were willing to mark their gas prices as low as they could to still make a minimal profit (2 or 3 cents per gallon was all my grandfather profited towards the end of his run as a store owner in the early 80’s), and then rely on the customers to come inside and spend a bunch on pop, hot dogs, potato chips, candy, cigarettes, etc. in order to turn a healthy profit. Believe me, when you charge 99 cents for a 32oz pop from the fountain, you’re making a nice profit, and when you buy 8 hot dogs for $2 dollars and 8 buns for $0.60 and then sell those same 8 dogs for a total of $12 dollars, you’re doing alright.

But that has changed. Gas must be as profitable as humanly possible for these stores. They’ve got to make a killing on every gallon, just like they do on every hot dog inside. Why? Because we can pay at the pump. We can stick a credit/debit card into a slot, start the pump, fill the car, return the nozzle, grab the receipt, and hit the road. The convenience store/filling station has just lost a big potential profit be me not coming into their store. So they’ve gotta get it where they can, and gas prices suffer even more because of it.

I’d like to see a station go back the other way. Take away the pay-at-the-pump option and drive traffic back into their store, where, while preparing to pay, I (and most others) will grab a cup of pop, a pack of gum, a candy bar, a bag of chips…whatever…and the shopkeeper will now show a profit again.  Think about it when you whip out your credit card to “pay at the pump”. Your interest in saving a walk of 40 feet and possibly having to stand in line behind…heaven forbid…one or maybe even two people, is now helping me - and YOU - pay more for your gas.

There’s A Ray Of Hope For Our Population

I was stunned with delight this week when CNN asked the question, “Which candidate’s plan regarding removing the gas tax for the summer months is the best?” 

Of course, John McCain has pandered to his base by suggesting a simple removal of the Federal Gas Tax for the summer. Hillary Clinton’s idea (which, if I’m not mistaken, is pretty darn similar to a plan talked about by a certain local candidate a few weeks back) called for a dropping of the gas tax and a “windfall profit tax” being assessed the oil companies in addition, which, of course, was a populist position pandering to her base. Obama? Called both ideas irrational and, basically, stupid, saying the tax is not the problem, that corporate greed is.

The results:

McCain - 2%

Clinton - 13%

Obama - 85%

Unbelievable. We do have hope in this country. In a day and age were a certain percentage of the population thinks that any tax is wrong, in a day and age in which it’s an absolute rarity to see 60% or more of us take the same side on anything, to have 85% of the respondents see through the shameful ruse offered by McCain or Clinton is a good sign. Of course, it would have been a better sign if the poll was on Faux News and their typical viewers had similar results, but I’ll still take it.

BTW, if the idiotic populist pandering ideas of McCain and Clinton were actually put in place, and we say 18 cents knocked off a gallon of gas (wow…big deal…it’s only $3.49 now!) we’d simply see the oil companies put 10-15 cents back into the price for additional pure profit. That’s what they did the last time this stupid plan was tried…who can honestly sit here and say they wouldn’t do it again?