Good. State Police officers are going to be running a DUI Crackdown over the holidays, as they usually do. I’m glad. Of course, I wish they would crack down diligently like this ALL the time, and not just around the Holidays, but they only get so much Federal grant money to help them pay for the extra man-hours. But whatever they can do, I’m all or it. I particularly like this part of the story:
“According to the Illinois Department of Transportation, eight of the 10 motor vehicle crash fatalities over the last Christmas holiday weekend were alcohol related. Six of the 13 fatalities over the New Year’s weekend were alcohol related.”
Let’s see, that’s 16 of the 23 fatalities involving alcohol. A vast majority. Much higher than the “fatalities involving speeding by sober people” totals, for certain. My point? As always, I’m just lookin’ for an admission from Law Enforcement: Speed traps are revenue builders. Not safety concerns. But revenue builders.
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I’m still amazed at this one.
How about 40 days of officials and legislators and law enforcement people getting together to figure out better gun laws?
How about 40 days of raiding the homes and vehicles of known criminals and convicted felons and getting the drugs and guns and everything else they shouldn’t have?
How about 40 days of non-stop communication between whites and blacks in Peoria on how to better understand and get along with each other, instead of hating each other?
I could think of so many other things that could be done over 40 days that would be more effective than “40 days of prayer”. But that wouldn’t get me reelected, now, would it? 
Earlier this week one of my alter-egos had this description of road conditions, more of a “recap”, really, from the last week, during a phone call to the Scott and Gin show.
First, the freezing rain starts to fall. It’s at this time the roads get slippier than Britney Spears’ sanity. Then, they start to ice up, making them slicker than Mitt Romney’s hair. At storms peak, the ice on the roads gets thicker than Robin Williams’ chest hair. At that point, driving becomes as treacherous as hunting with Dick Cheney. Your vehicle is able to move forward about as well as the Chicago Bears offense.
Eventually, all the ice starts to go away. In areas where it was warm enough to melt away, the roads then become sloppier than Paris Hilton on a Saturday night, and it eventually turns to a heavy slush, which can push your car to the right faster than having lunch with Hillary Clinton. Or, to the left faster than having lunch with Fred Thompson. Either way, you’re going where you didn’t want to go.
And that’s the best way to describe life on the roads in Central Illinois for the last week.
An upscale grocery market in New York committed a faux pas last week, advertising a special on ham for Hanukkah. Whoops. It got me to thinking about what other specials they may offer in this obviously insensitive grocery store:
- “Name brand beers for 1/2 price when you show your grade school or junior high I.D.!”
- “Bring in a doctor’s note that you’re suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and you’ll save big on Tabasco Sauce!”
- “Anyone with an oxygen tank gets a 60% discount on cigarettes!”
- “Show us your heart medication, and we’ll show you 33% off on all red meats!”
and of course, they would also have specials in their sporting goods and clothing aisles:
- “Seniors get 40% off rollerblades! (MUST be over 65 and MUST have walker or cane with you)”
- “Huge savings on bikinis and miniskirts to any customer wearing a burka!”
Like I said, they MAY offer these specials. But probably not.
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