This Just In: Todd Sauerbrun’s Daily Planner Revealed!
Denver Broncos punter/kicker Todd Sauerbrun didn’t have a good day yesterday. He kicked the football directly to Devin Hester not once, but twice (in the same quarter!). Then, when he finally figured out that wasn’t a good idea, he decided to punt right into the outstretched hands of Charles Tillman, resulting in an easy (even for the pathetic Bears’ offense) 18-yard scoring drive. By my calculations, if Sauerbrun and the Broncos had half a brain, they would have won yesterday’s game 34-16.
To find out what makes this guy tick, this intrepid reporter has acquired Mr. Sauerbrun’s Daily Planner for Tuesday, November 27th:
7am - Guzzle cup of scalding hot coffee
8am - Run up and down stairs with scissors in hand
9am - Stick fork in wall socket to check power
10am - Insert angry ferret into pants
11am - Cut down tree with chainsaw, always making sure to be cutting “up”, with chain over my head
12pm - Try to steal raw meat from Michael Vick’s pit bull
1pm - Shave dry
2pm - Reach into aquarium, try to grab Piranha
3pm - Jog in center lane of interstate
4pm - Cover body in honey, enter bear exhibit at zoo
5pm - Wingwalk on F-15 in stocking feet
6pm - Have dinner with Mike Tyson, tell him he’s “a big sissy”
There you have it, a day in the life of Todd Sauerbrun. This should help explain yesterday’s behavior.
1 comment.
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November 29th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
Ha. I’d say you’ve summed it up nicely. I’ll never understand why teams keep kicking to him. But I’m glad a few still do.