A Good Year for the Outlaw

I used to work for Kevin Krause, when he was the owner of the Cedar Rapids Silver Bullets CBA basketball team (yes, it was a reference to Coors, they were a big sponsor). Krause’s family owned the “Kum and Go” franchises of convenience stores in Iowa, and as you might expect, the stores were the butt of quite a few off-color jokes. But they’re not the only humorously named convenience stores. Last time we were in Minnesota, Diane laughed uproariously, and really couldn’t put a finger on why, at the name “Pump and Munch”. I couldn’t put a finger on it, either, but it just sounded funny. Gas and Go is another I’ve seen that has caused me to chuckle, for no apparent reason. And of course, not a real one, but a great fictional name supplied by Jeff Foxworthy: The “Stop and Rob”. Truckers, of course, call gas station/truck stop restaurants “Choke and Puke”, which is another giggler. 

When I lived out West, “7/11″ was a biggie. Not necessarily funny, but one in Carson City was being remodeled and while it was closed, the marquee said “sorry for the inconvenience”, which made it, of course, the world’s most inconvenient convenience store for a time. 

I’ve come up with some other names for future chains of stores, names that might do the trick.

For a store that specializes in it’s fuel and Mexican food:

“Gas and Gas.” Or, if that’s too confusing, you could say “Gas…and Fuel For Your Car, Too”.

For the store that features very clean and accessible restrooms to go with the gas pumps:

“Fuel and Stool.” (That’s my personal favorite, I think I’m going to open one.)

For the store that has a restroom on an island right out near the pumps, (I saw one of these once in Wyoming, it was at a 7/11, but the bathroom was way out in the parking lot, near the pumps):

“Whiz Quick” or just “Whizzers.”

For the store with gas and a large supply of smoothies:

“Fill and Chill.”

Anyone have any more?