A Good Year for the Outlaw

But this time, they’re in the parking lot.

I’ve finally found one area where Peoria might…emphasize MIGHT…be a little better than Kewanee, and that’s driving through large parking lots.

The Wally World (Evil Empire) store is Kewanee’s largest, and has the biggest parking lot. It is nicely and clearly marked out, with parking spots and driving “lanes” clearly delineated. But that means nothing to the shopping crowd here. Once the drivers pull of Tenney Street or South Street to enter the Wally World lot, it’s a freakin’ free for all.

NO ONE, except newcomer yours truly, drives straight and correctly through that parking lot. They turn off South, and make a diagonal beeline right across the lot, darting between parked cars, crossing the “lanes” without looking or slowing down from what apparently is a mandated 30 miles per hour MINIMUM through this lot.

I will NOT let Diane or the kids walk in this parking lot. In the unfortunate instance that we must go to Wally World, I’ll drop them off at the door before I’ll let them walk through this manslaughter waiting to happen. I swear, one of these days, I’m buy a ‘72 LTD, strip the interior and put a roll cage in it, pull on a helmet, and then just drive up and down the aisles of the parking lot all day long, and see how many times I get broadsided. I’m setting the over/under at 7.

But I’m sure Mouse will tell me it’s not NEARLY  as “illegal” and bad as me driving 74 on an empty stretch of I-74. What’s the html code for the smiley that just rolls his eyes?