Good Year For The Outlaw

Well, another NBA “Lottery” has come and gone, and yet another fixed result has been achieved. Don’t think it’s fixed? Then why won’t they pull the ping pong balls in public?

It’s fixed. Big time. Congrats, Chicago, your pathetic Bulls again get something they don’t deserve.

BTW, the Minnesota Timberwolves remain the franchise the league loves to screw. Twelve times the T’wolves have been in the lottery in their 20 year existence. Why? Well, how about this little fact: In 12 lotteries, the Wolves have moved DOWN in the order from where they should pick seven times. In each of the other five times, they stayed where they should pick, based on win-loss record. Twelve total times and you haven’t gotten lucky ONCE?

“Nah, it’s not fixed,” says David Stern. Um, David, yes, it is, and this year anyone outside of Chicago knows it, and most IN Chicago know better, too.

This rigged lottery crap has been going on since the first one, even when they drew out in the open. See for yourself.

I saw a letter to the Journal Star bemoaning all of the road kill being allowed to rot on the sides of our Illinois highways last week. I agree, btw, it is sad to see that we have to do this. With the price of gas, the powers that be are making the pickup crews stay in the office more, apparently, and making the rounds less. Of course, in typical Peoria-area fashion, the letter and the following comments all had to take shots at Illinois and it’s governor for this. No one blames the real culprit, but why would they? It wouldn’t be very “Peorian” to lay blame in the proper location.

Be that as it may, however, I was satisfied (can’t say “delighted”, it’s never a “delight” when an animal dies such a horrific death as being squashed by a semi tractor) to see that Illinois is not alone. There were three times as many dead deer, opossum, and raccoons dead along Iowa highways yesterday. I traveled 20 miles north of Waterloo for my son’s graduation, and was amazed at how many deer lay dead, and in various states of decay, along the roadsides.

Wonder if there’s any Peoria right wingers who’d like to blame Blago for IOWA’s problem with roadkill, too?

Look, I don’t care what you think of the governor of Illinois, obviously, he’s not the best guy to come down the pike (still, not any worse than the joker he followed), but for Pete’s sakes, people, can’t you see why the crews aren’t on the road? Gas is freakin’ four dollars a gallon! And that is NOT the fault of the governor of Illinois, or the state legislature, for that matter. Put the blame where it belongs.

You want animal carcasses picked up? Call Dick Cheney, he’s probably got plenty of spare time between counting oil dividends.

Oh, one more thing: If they WERE out picking up every dead animal every day, I’m sure some right-wingnut around Peoria would right a letter and blame Blago for WASTING gas.

I have sworn off going inside fast food restaurants. I’m trying to swear them off altogether, but that’s another story for another time. Today’s story is about service.

It’s bad enough when they can’t get your order right…and it matters not where you go: Golden Arches, some guy with a crown, a freckled girl with pigtails, or the ice cream place masquerading as a hamburger joint…any of them. But, I’d settle for the occasional mistake on my order anymore just to get served in the order I arrived.

As I said, I don’t go inside. I always get ticked. It doesn’t matter what line I get in,  some dude who blows in five minutes after me gets to order first, because I’ve gotten stuck behind either the “I’m ordering for the whole soccer team” mom, or the “I’ve never been here before” geek, or the “don’t rush me, I’ll order when I’m good and ready, and I’ll pay when I finally get my wallet out of my purse after 12 minutes” blue hair. So I won’t go inside.

Instead, I go for the speedy “drive thru” service. That way, I know I’ll not get screwed in line, because I’ll get served in the order I pulled into line, and I’m happy with that. Um, not so fast. A few years ago, I heard for the first time,  “can you pull ahead and we’ll bring it right out to you?” because, heaven forbid, I’ve ordered chicken nuggets, which take a little longer to cook. Never mind that they should be ready, but now I’ve got to pull ahead and wait while the dude who got here after me gets served? No way. I tell ‘em no. I tell them, “sorry, but I’d rather not. I’ll wait for my food and get it in order, thank you.”  You should see the look on their faces.

So, I’ve got that problem nailed. Ahh, now we can just sit back and know we’ll get served in the order….ARRRGHHH! Along comes McDonald’s with the sickening new “double drive thru” lanes. Sh*t! And it never fails, EVERY time I get to the speaker, the guy behind me gets to the OTHER speaker, gets to order BEFORE me even though he’s arrived AFTER me, and then sticks the nose of his car in the back seat of the car in front of us so I can’t get in.

Pisses…me…off.

So, McDonald’s: See ya.

One down.

Let me first state I think Phil Luciano is a great columnist, and I am always entertained by his writing style, and “get it” when it comes to Phil’s sense of humor. He’s damn good at what he does in the paper.  But I take, shall we say, significant umbrage at yesterday’s baloney-filled column about speeding v. fuel economy.

Phil bought too far into the claims of his unnamed veteran cop “source” for this story.

This officer claims he’s surprised…I’m sorry, he said “flabbergasted”…that people are “still driving like maniacs” with fuel nearing $4.00 per gallon.

Excuse me, buddy, but I do NOT “drive like a maniac”, and just because one speeds he/she is not a “maniac”. So let’s cut the hyperbole here. To me, the “maniacs” are the a-holes who run stop signs, don’t use signals, change lanes without warning, accelerate through left-turn lane yellow- and red-lights, and follow other cars too damn close. THOSE are the “maniacs”, and those people don’t have to “speed” to be an idiot.

Beyond that, though, let’s examine the claims in the story and the math around them:

According to AAA Motor Club, Phil says, decreasing speed from 75 to 65 MPH increases fuel economy by 10%, and decreasing speed from 70 to 55 MPH increases fuel economy by 17%. First, simple math tells us that even if these claims are true (they’re not), they don’t make a lot of sense. A decrease from 75 to 65 MPH is a decrease of 14% (and an increase in time needed to arrive at the destination by that same 14%). Ever heard the phrase “time is money”? Well, in sales, it’s true. So to effectively increase my mileage by 10%, I’ve got to slow down 14% and waste more time driving. Not a good deal.

And the other example given is just as bad…to get a 17% claimed (again, not true) increase in mileage, I’ve got to slow down by 22%! In other words, my 100-minute drives back and forth to Canton everyday become 122 minutes, and I spend another one hour and forty minutes in just one week (that’s a LOT of time I could be working at my desk or making sales calls) driving my car back and forth, only to see my mileage (supposedly) increase.

But alas, it doesn’t work that way in all vehicles. Hell, it doesn’t work that way in any vehicles that I know of. Cars, like golf clubs, baseball bats, and numerous other man-made items, have a “sweet spot”. Each one is different. Some vehicles (mine, for instance) achieve peak gas mileage at higher speeds, because of the gearing and how it matches to the “sweet spot” for engine RPM.

After reading it yesterday, I did a little test this morning. I topped off my tank and headed up to I-80, where I zeroed out my trip computer and set the cruise at 70. My drive from Annawan to Ottawa netted 24.8 MPG according to GM’s uncannily accurate dashboard trip-computer that I’m happy my Grand Prix came with. On the way back, I topped off, zeroed out the CPU and set the cruise at 55. Yes, on I-80. No rush to get back. Same trip, same miles. According to Phil and the AAA Motor Club, I should have seen my mileage increase to 27.3 MPG. Um, no. Try 24.2 MPG. Yep, my car gets worse mileage at 55 than it does at 70 in the same conditions. (Okay, it was four degrees warmer, for you engineer types).

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This morning, I was offered “court supervision” instead of having my recent traffic ticket show up on my MVR for my insurance agent to see. What is “court supervision”? It sounds serious. Do I have to come to class? Well, no. Do I have to call in and report my whereabouts? Nope. Do I have to complete some kind of test or where some kind of electronic ankle bracelet? Again, nope.

So what is it? Well, to be quite honest, it’s…extortion. Oh, you say you don’t think so? Well, let’s look at a couple of the listings under the definition of extortion:

Illegal use of one’s official position or powers to obtain property, funds, or patronage.

An excessive or exorbitant charge.

So let’s see…regarding definition #1: I didn’t see a judge, instead I met with a representative of the state’s or district’s attorney’s office, who ”made me an offer”. And regarding definition #2: For twice the amount of my ticket, I can get “court supervision” (with, as I said, no real “supervision”) to make sure the ticket doesn’t go on my insurance. I don’t know if it qualifies as “extortion” based on definition #1…although I could make the argument it’s pretty darn close as the “offer” was made by an attorney, and not the judge of the court…but it definitely qualifies under definition #2. Basically, if you’re willing to pay us a bunch more than what the ticket actually costs, you don’t have to pay more down the road. Hmmm…excessive and exorbitant? You betcha.

Naturally, I pleaded (NOT “pled”) not guilty, and I’ll be appearing before a judge (whom I did not see this morning anywhere near the courtroom, not during the “negotiating” process, I guess) next month.

More to come.

Oh, and I STILL don’t have my driver’s license…she wouldn’t give it to me today.

I remember a time a decade or two ago where “convenience stores” were willing to mark their gas prices as low as they could to still make a minimal profit (2 or 3 cents per gallon was all my grandfather profited towards the end of his run as a store owner in the early 80’s), and then rely on the customers to come inside and spend a bunch on pop, hot dogs, potato chips, candy, cigarettes, etc. in order to turn a healthy profit. Believe me, when you charge 99 cents for a 32oz pop from the fountain, you’re making a nice profit, and when you buy 8 hot dogs for $2 dollars and 8 buns for $0.60 and then sell those same 8 dogs for a total of $12 dollars, you’re doing alright.

But that has changed. Gas must be as profitable as humanly possible for these stores. They’ve got to make a killing on every gallon, just like they do on every hot dog inside. Why? Because we can pay at the pump. We can stick a credit/debit card into a slot, start the pump, fill the car, return the nozzle, grab the receipt, and hit the road. The convenience store/filling station has just lost a big potential profit be me not coming into their store. So they’ve gotta get it where they can, and gas prices suffer even more because of it.

I’d like to see a station go back the other way. Take away the pay-at-the-pump option and drive traffic back into their store, where, while preparing to pay, I (and most others) will grab a cup of pop, a pack of gum, a candy bar, a bag of chips…whatever…and the shopkeeper will now show a profit again.  Think about it when you whip out your credit card to “pay at the pump”. Your interest in saving a walk of 40 feet and possibly having to stand in line behind…heaven forbid…one or maybe even two people, is now helping me - and YOU - pay more for your gas.

I was stunned with delight this week when CNN asked the question, “Which candidate’s plan regarding removing the gas tax for the summer months is the best?” 

Of course, John McCain has pandered to his base by suggesting a simple removal of the Federal Gas Tax for the summer. Hillary Clinton’s idea (which, if I’m not mistaken, is pretty darn similar to a plan talked about by a certain local candidate a few weeks back) called for a dropping of the gas tax and a “windfall profit tax” being assessed the oil companies in addition, which, of course, was a populist position pandering to her base. Obama? Called both ideas irrational and, basically, stupid, saying the tax is not the problem, that corporate greed is.

The results:

McCain - 2%

Clinton - 13%

Obama - 85%

Unbelievable. We do have hope in this country. In a day and age were a certain percentage of the population thinks that any tax is wrong, in a day and age in which it’s an absolute rarity to see 60% or more of us take the same side on anything, to have 85% of the respondents see through the shameful ruse offered by McCain or Clinton is a good sign. Of course, it would have been a better sign if the poll was on Faux News and their typical viewers had similar results, but I’ll still take it.

BTW, if the idiotic populist pandering ideas of McCain and Clinton were actually put in place, and we say 18 cents knocked off a gallon of gas (wow…big deal…it’s only $3.49 now!) we’d simply see the oil companies put 10-15 cents back into the price for additional pure profit. That’s what they did the last time this stupid plan was tried…who can honestly sit here and say they wouldn’t do it again?

After not watching more than two laps of NAZICAR racing all year, I flipped away from NBA playoff action for a few minutes to see what indeed was up these days in the world of big league stock car racing, the once-great sport that has been ruined by a greedy, bigoted sanctioning body. Thought I’d “give ‘em a shot”, and see if there was any reason to go back to watching.

First, what was I hoping to see?  Well, for starters, I was hoping to see a) Toyota getting pummeled; b) Darrell Waltrip not allowed to speak on the broadcast; c) less religion; d) the ability to tell exactly what kind of car a driver was wheeling just by looking at it. Those things would be nice.

What did I actually see? Cars that are still identical except for decals (sucks), the ones with “toyota” on them doing well (sucks), and Darrell Waltrip not only talking about religion (as usual) but also excited about the fact that a car sponsored by Dr. Dobson and Focus on the Family (pure evil man and organization) was running well, and then I had to listen to Darrell tell us how he couldn’t wait to see Dr. Dobson at the upcoming National Day of Prayer.

Um, dudes, this is freakin’ sports, not a revival meeting. Nor is it supposed to be a commercial for christianity. But, sad to say, the reasons I left NAZICAR behind are still quite prevalent on the broadcasts. And I can only imagine what the rest of the day was like, I only watched about 30 (of 188) laps. Wow.

Over at Bill Dennis’ site, contributor Diane Vespa recently asked Colleen Callahan, candidate for the 18th District House Seat in Illinois, “where’s the beef?” regarding Ms. Callahan’s supposed “vagueness” and “lack of accountability”.

I currently, btw, have a question at the end of that post’s comments section that has gone unanswered.

So I visited Project Vote Smart this evening, hoping to learn more about Mr. Schock and his own policies.

Part of what  you’ll see when you click on the specific page I’ve linked for Project Vote Smart is this:

Representative Aaron Schock repeatedly refused to provide any responses to citizens on the issues through the 2008 Political Courage Test when asked to do so by national leaders of the political parties, prominent members of the media, Project Vote Smart President Richard Kimball, and Project Vote Smart staff.This candidate will be asked again to provide responses during the general election.

See that? “…repeatedly refused to provide ANY responses…”. So again, I’m asking, if Ms. Callahan is going to be accused of dodging specifics, when is Mr. Schock going to be held to the same standards by contributors to Bill Dennis’ board, and other Peoria area voters who have their mind made up, simply because Schock will have an “R” next to his name in November?

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Because if I was, I’d be around a lot of idiots, namely the North Carolina GOP.

John McCain has it right, when he denounces the ad in question, an attack ad on Barack Obama. McCain, his staff, and the RNC Chairman, Mike Duncan, have all asked the North Carolina GOP to not run the ad, they will run it anyway.

According to the story, N.C. GOP chairwoman Linda Daves “…defended the ad, saying it ‘presents a question of patriotism and judgment.’”

Yeah, it does…it presents that very question towards Ms. Daves’ reflection in the mirror. Idiots.

And good for Mr. McCain for getting it right, just like he did when he denounced Bill Cunningham two months ago.

Lotsa noise being made in Chicago over this one:

I put the headline in the form of a question, as I’m not sure if the law I’m about to discuss needs changing, it just seems like maybe it should.

Also, let me start (to deflect the snarks before they mouth off) by saying I have ALWAYS stated publicly on my blog, on Billy’s blog and on any other blog, that I speed, and my feeling is that if I get “caught”, then good for you, Mr. Officer, as long as it doesn’t show up on my insurance.  That being said, here’s the story, with the subsequent question about state law to follow:

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Billy Dennis wrote this:

I don’t know whether or not Ali al-Marri is a terrorist or an enemy combatant or not. Some of the evidence the U.S. government says it has against the guy is pretty damning. But I know one thing: The United States is a nation that should operate under the rule or law. If the courts say this guy deserves a trial, then he ought to get one. If our laws are to be ignored when it’s inconvenient, then they mean nothing. That’s not a pro-terrorist statement; that’s a pro-America statement.

…and he’s 100% right. 100%. Every word. As a friend said to me this past week, “if it can happen to him, it can happen to you and me, and that’s not the America I know or want.”

Well said, Billy. The sad thing is you had to say it at all. And shame on the rest of the government AND the people of this country for letting King George and his snarling asshole of a henchman Cheney get away with this.

So another teacher gets sent to the big house, this one for 48-years, for molesting two kids, ages 7 and 8. He got what he deserved. But I’m going to offer up a little career advice to him anyway:

If you wanted to be a perv and abuse defenseless kids and not go to jail, you should have become a priest, not a teacher.

Not the five dumbest, necessarily, and not in any particular order, but here are five things we do in this country that just don’t seem to make a lot of sense:

1. Put so-called “Deadbeat Dads” in jail. - Perfect. That’ll help ‘em support their kids. Lock them up so they CAN’T work and make payments. Good idea. That really helps the child, doesn’t it?

2. Race through the terminal to get a good “spot” at the luggage conveyer. And for that matter, why must we all crowd around that conveyer and elbow and shove each other around just to pick up a bag that no one else wants anyway?

3. Speaking of pushing and shoving, Christmas shopping the day after Thanksgiving. In reality, the sales aren’t all that great, and you end up getting angry trying to find a parking spot, which puts you in a bad mood before you enter the mall, which means you’re more likely to push and shove someone out of the way while battling for the same overpriced game system that will be $100 less in six months…

4. Give someone the finger when they pass you. What good does this do? Is this supposed to make you feel superior? If you’re driving 48 in a 55 just to tick people off, why then do you also feel the need to finger everyone that passes you as they choose to drive 55 or 60? Does this make you tougher? (Full disclosure, this did NOT happen to me this morning, it happened to Diane. A pretty, innocent young woman who would never hurt anyone. But the idiot fingered her as he was driving 45 on a two-lane state highway.)

5. Watch “American Idol”. Of all of the so-called “reality shows”, this has always been my least favorite. And the show is turning out to be “the Big Lie”. Seriously, name the past winners of the show (some people actually can)…and then name all of the smash #1 hits they’ve had on the music charts since they won the show. These people don’t become “idols”, much to the chagrine of profiteer Simon Cowell. Yet the idiots in this country still register more votes for this drivel than they do on Election Day. Amazin’.

So the City of Peoria is preparing to spend $30,000 to have a new logo designed, and people are upset about it, particularly where there are potholes to fix.

So here’s the solution:

The new city logo should be the image of a pothole.

I’ll even offer a discount. Pay me $10,000. Keep the other $20,000, and you don’t even have to fix the potholes, because you NEED them to justify the new logo.

There. Pay me.

After looking at the atrocities below, I thought I’d better post some pictures of actual GOOD looking vehicles to cure the nausea of seeing Toyotas:

There.  I feel better now.

No company in the world brings forth so many ugly vehicles as Toyota. No car company in the world is as overrated as Toyota. I despise Toyota more than you can imagine. Toyota has been bringing us ugly…no, FUGly cars for a long time, and as you’ll see, they won’t stop in the future. Let’s go back to this gem from the 2000 model year:

That abomination of a vehicle begat this…thing:

Somewhere along the line, they went with this frickin’ box and called it a car:

But the worst of the bunch…taking ugly to new depths, has GOT to be this concept from Toyota, recently unv…no, unLEASHED, upon the public. A thing so hideous it makes Godzilla appear cuddly:

And not stopping there, the World’s Most Disgusting Car Maker has shown us this (are they just laughing when they do this, are they intentionally souring the entire auto world, or are they just all drunken Japanese dudes with penis envy on the beautiful machines brought forth by their American, German, and Italian rivals?). My god, they cannot do this to us, can they?:

America, and the world: Wake The Hell Up!  These things aren’t even remotely attractive. They’re disgusting. Throw in the hybrid-is-a-good-thing ruse, and Toyota is the Wal Mart of car makingm, the Bush/Cheney of automaking: Evil. Disgusting. Dangerous. For those of us that like smooth, flowing, American muscle car lines, Toyota is the Anti-Christ. For those of us who enjoy automobile racing, Toyota is the destruction of the sport. For those of us who appreciate how a car can be an art form, a graceful-yet-powerful looking beast (see: Viper, Corvette, ’60’s-vintage GTO’s), Toyota is a steaming pile of canine fecal matter.  

This doesn’t amaze me anymore. Nothing this bozo says surprises me in the least. What surprises me is that we as a country have let this Dr. Evil-wannabe run the world for the last five years solely to help himself and his oil buddies make obscene profits at our expense. It’s beyond head scratching. Anyone who still supports this guy and his puppet-on-a-string boss (insert smirk and “heh heh heh” here) is not a real American. People who still support these dolts have forgotten what being an American is.

Divisive? So be it. But if we 45% of the country on the reasonable and coherent left can help the 35% of the country on the reasonable and coherent right to distance themselves from the remaining goofball 15% of the FAAAAARR right, and the off the wall 5% of the left, then the 80% of us with a normally functioning brain can have logical and constructive arguments over how to get the country back on track. We can take the best ideas from the lucid left and the best ideas from the lucid right and put them together to rebuild and reunite our confidence and pride in country. 

First thing we need to fix? Well, the Bushies have left us with so many…

But, let’s start by taking ideas on how we want our leaders to handle the economy. I’ll go first. In my next post right below this one.

Here are generally agreed upon reasons for our weak economy: Subprime mortgage crisis; job losses; weakened dollar abroad leading to significant trade imbalance; continuing cost of war; not enough revenue to pay the bills.

There are obviously lots of factors, and lots of solutions are being bandied about. I’m certainly not an economist, and I’m not going to claim to be smarter than anyone else. I’m just an average Joe who wants to make a few suggestions, and have discussion about them to see if they are good ideas, bad ideas, or can be good ideas with tweaking. In other words, I’m looking to open a line of discussion with people smarter than I (oops, sorry Vonnie, that leaves you out ).

Obviously, I hope the tax cuts Bush imposed to help his rich buddies are not made permanent. I think that will happen.

But my ”first step” in fixing the problems? Wages. I read where the average wage is down since 2001, the typical household income is lower than it was in 2000. But big corporations are raking in record profits. Wages for middle-management on down to entry-level wages are going down, but the big-wigs make more, which pleases the shareholders. However, the people who TRULY spend the money to keep the country rolling (i.e. the middle class) have less to spend.

I also have read that while these profits for the major corporations have soared, they haven’t put the money back into not only the help, but the investment on upgrading equipment and computer software is way off what it once was. That, of course, blows the “trickle down” theories out of the water to me, but we already know that scheme doesn’t work.   

So how do we increase wages?

Can we can start by increasing taxes and closing tax loopholes for these corporations, instead giving them incentives by way of new and different tax breaks IF they increase wages and benefits for American workers?

If we can increase wages, can we do it slowly enough so as to not scare the hell out of the elite on Wall Street who then cry “inflation, inflation!”. Also, why couldn’t these companies be given incentives on bringing jobs BACK to the U.S., not farming them out overseas, and why shouldn’t they instead be harshly PENALIZED for taking their jobs out of country. 

I don’t think I’m proposing, btw, some sort of isolationist nationalism here, certainly not. I’m only suggesting we achieve a better trade balance. It seems to me that the mega-rich actually do BETTER when the middle class has enough extra cash to go out and buy things to stimulate growth.

They are, of course, convinced otherwise. But that’s my start. Let’s discuss…rationally, without snark (oh, crap, that leaves Vonnie out again. Darn the luck.)

“He can sing,” Diane correctly stated as we walked to the car last night. She’s right, as always, and she was talking about Craig Morgan, the country singer who performed in Carver Arena after Friday night’s Rivermen game. And Craig Morgan is about to go from “decent singer with a nice following” to “country superstar” thanks in no small part to the best songwriter going right now, my favorite songwriter, Jeffrey Steele. No one captures American small town life better than Jeffrey these days, picking up from the way John Mellencamp wrote our lives in the 80’s. The name of this blog comes actually comes from my favorite song penned by Jeff.

Jeffrey’s songs are responsible for turning many country music acts who’ve had average success into acts who are country superstars. To wit: Trace Adkins’ career-changing hit? “Chrome”, written by Jeff.  Montgomery Gentry’s career builders? “Gone”, “My Town”, “Speed” and several others, all written by Jeff. Where would Rascal Flatts be without “These Days” and “What Hurts The Most”, written by Jeff. The Van Zant brothers foray into country? “Help Somebody”, written AND produced by Jeff. Keith Anderson? Produced by Jeff.

And now, Craig Morgan is going to be the latest country singer to turn the corner from “he’s pretty good, he’s had some nice songs” to “Wow! That’s my favorite song EVER!”, thanks to Jeff. Morgan is a solid performer with a great voice, always has been, and has had some decent sized hits like “Almost Home” and “Redneck Yacht Club”. He’s one of those guys that country music fans like and say, “yeah, Craig Morgan…not bad”, but would not be an act that could be a Kenny Chesney/Toby Keith-type headliner.

But now, that is changing since Craig - with Jeffrey’s song “International Harvester” - has tapped into American farm life, and thus all of Middle America, i.e. country’s base. In typical Jeffrey style, the simplicity of the lyrics makes you slap you head and say “why didn’t I think of that!”, but in typical Jeffrey style, those same simple lyrics not only make for great sing-alongs and tremendous melodic hooks, but they have an inner, deeper meaning that is hard to explain, bu the kind of meaning that makes people BECOME the song, not just hear it and sing along.

Is it a “novelty” song? In a way, maybe, some people would think so. But I say no. Sure, it’s got a catchy hook, but the song is not satire…it’s the truth. Did the 6,500 or so who stuck around after the game last night sing along out loud and know every word? Absolutely. Craig Morgan has Jeffrey Steele to thank for a song that will pass the test of time, that will still be a big hit years from now when country stations play it as a “gold”, or “oldie”. Way to go Jeff, and way to sing it, Craig. Nicely done.

In the March issue of Motor Trend (which actually hit the newstands in late January), the presidential candidates that were still in the race at that time were asked what kind of car they drove.

Many didn’t respond, but some did, including those who jumped at the chance to be eco-friendly like John Edwards and Chris Dodd (both Ford Escape Hybrids) Mike Huckabee (Chevy Tahoe Flexfuel), those who jumped at the chance to show us the “every-guy” look, like Duncan Hunter (’87 Chevy Suburban - that’s right, ‘87) and Ron Paul (late model Town Car and “older” Buick Skylark is what he said).

Mitt Romney went for the “sporty, but nostalgic” angle with his 2005 Mustang convertible and his 1962 Rambler. Perhaps the most “presidential” of the bunch were Barack Obama (Chrysler 300) and John McCain (Cadillac CTS), and one candidate, Rudy Guiliani, didn’t even know: an aide told Motor Trend “we don’t believe he owns a car” was the answer.

Hillary Clinton, Bill Richardson, Joe Biden Mike Gravel and Dennis Kucinich were all non-respondents, so we don’t know what they drive.

But among all those who did respond, only one candidate chose to drive a “furrin’ job”, and it was none other than Vonster’s “Captain America”, Fred Thompson, who wheels a Volvo SUV around Florida. No surprise there, really, when one knows what Thompson really is (and how much does that say about Vonster?).

For Billy Dennis. This is the definition of commentary, and the fact that it’s right on only accentuates how well it’s done.

Bravo, sir. Well said. Well said.

I am so intrigued by the “callahanforcongress” website, and the subsequent questions about it’s authenticity, that I can’t let it rest.

This is a list of candidates for ALL offices in the State of Pennsylvania this year, including those running for Federal positions. The name “Callahan” does not appear on the list.

Today I called the City of Bethlehem, PA to speak to the Mayor John B. Callahan (I still await his return call) and his secretary was just as surprised to hear that he might be running for congress as the news director of the local radio station was when I talked to him yesterday.

I have also left another message with the John B. Callahan from State College, PA (182 miles from Bethlehem) to see if it is HIM that is pondering a run for office.

This is fun, I like working on weird stories. We’ll keep trying to get to the bottom of it. Until then, the saga goes on.

BIG UPDATE: John B. Callahan from State College, PA, the pharmaceutical rep, returned my phone call today, and here is what transpired:

I introduced myself, and gave him a quick summation of the chatter that has been occurring here in Illinois regarding a certain website.

1. It turns out Mr. Callahan is indeed the man who registered that website with GoDaddy.com, he was happy to admit that information to me.

2. He says it happened “after a friend of mine and I got into a heated political discussion one night. He showed up the next night with his daughter in a “Callahan For Congress” T-shirt and I decided to put it on the web, and start the site ‘callahanforcongress.com’. It’s just a joke. I have no intention of running for office.”

3. He is aware of the Mayor John B. Callahan on Bethlehem, and says he even knows the mayor’s wife, Matalda, who at one time apparently worked for the same company that the State College John B. Callahan does.

4. He says both he and his friend are Republicans, hence the x-ed out donkey on the little girl’s t-shirt.

5. When I asked him what his friend’s little girl’s name was, he said “Emma”. He was not aware that the Callahans across the state in Bethlehem also have a little girl named Emma. He laughed at the coincidence.

6. Finally, when I asked him, ”do you know anyone in Illinois?”, he said “not that I’m aware of.”  He did have one long pause, and that was when I related to him how his website went up the very same day that Colleen Callahan’s name was tossed into the ring as a possible opponent for the GOP opponent. At no time did I tell him the GOP opponent’s name, at no time did he ask for it, or offer up that he knew who it was. He just said, “wow”, when I brought that up.

So, this whole thing may be solved. Then again it may not be.

Either way, we now know exactly who owns the site: John B. Callahan of State College, PA. We know he’s not running for congress, despite what “Democrat Pundit” said on one of Billy’s threads. We know that he owns the site for exactly one year, and through what he told me, there are no plans to do anything else than what’s already on the site.

What we DON’T know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, is whether or not this site was the brainchild of someone outside of Pennsylvania, but do we really need to know? There are too many strange coincidences to totally close the case. We do not know if the T-shirt on the little girl was really created by Mr. Callahan’s friend, or photoshopped later (check the “C” in “Congress” and see if it matches up with the fold in the little girl’s shirt, for instance). There are many things we know, and still some things that, if this were a court of law, would remain open for question and interpretation.

Be that as it may, whatever the case, if the other campaign new a guy in PA and got him to do this…so what? It’s just politics. There’s nothing overly malicious, just a good move to squat a site. But that’s only IF it happened. Maybe all of these little quirks are just that…quirks and coincidences. January 17th. Emma. Two John B. Callahans. It’s all too much fun.

I’ve enjoyed the hunt.

Jim Cramer turns into the General Custer of financial advice with this gem.